The worst dining experience imaginable. Too bad negative ratings are not an option on this website. As such, I'll render Paul a big, fat, ugly zero. First, the price. Way too expensive. Two sandwiches, one coffee, one bottled water: nearly $28. No silverware and no napkins on the table. The water was delivered by a busboy, but I had to get up and ask for my joe. They have no waiters. Guests have to order at the counter like in an elementary school cafeteria. The food is unconscionably terrible. It's all bread. No taste. Then came the hysterical exclamation that exemplifies how woefully clueless this restaurant is. We sent a freelance photographer to nab an exterior image to accompany this piece, and he was met by a belligerent misanthrope behind the counter who revealed his own vast ignorance and lack of awareness of the first amendment to the U.S. Constitution (ratified December 15, 1791) by telling him not to shoot any pictures. Then he tried to summon Aventura Mall security. Shamefully, "competence" is not a prerequisite for licensure to serve food in Miami-Dade County; otherwise, this hellhole would never be in business.

- Written by Max Brigance
February 1, 2011